A Beginner’s Guide to Choosing Strap-On Dildos and Harnesses

A Beginner’s Guide to Choosing Strap-On Dildos and Harnesses

Strap-on sex has the potential to improve anyone’s sex life, no matter your gender identity or genitalia.

Not just for lesbians, strap-on-dildos can be used by any couple. You can use them, for instance, to reverse stereotypical gender roles or as a way to get around erectile dysfunction. From penetration to masturbation, there are so many ways to enjoy them.

If you’re a beginner, however, they can seem a little daunting. Here, we’ll outline the basics of strap-on sex toys, so you can make the right choices.

Strap-on Dildos – Know the Basics

Strap-on dildos are meant to emulate the look and experience of a real penis. As the name indicates, the strap-on set-up consists of a dildo that sits in a harness worn around the waist or hips. The dildo features a flared base and the harness has an O-ring that holds it in position against the wearer’s pelvis.

NOTE: When a strap-on dildo is used to penetrate a man, it is known as “pegging.”

Typically, There Are Four Types Of Harnesses:

  1. Jockstrap – This one looks like a typical jockstrap, with straps around the hip and over each buttock for complete support.
  2. Thong – This style is similar to regular thongs, where there’s a strap around the waist and another strap between the legs and butt cheeks.
  3. Corset – Here, the harness fits like a corset at the sides or back to provide excellent fit and aesthetic appeal.
  4. Underwear style – This is a rather discreet style that looks like a pair of regular underwear or boxers. You can wear them all day, or just during sex.

Harness Buying Tips

  • Choose an adjustable harness made out of comfortable material, preferably leather or nylon. Adjustable straps will ensure full comfort while giving you maximum control over your dildo.
  • While some harnesses can be used with a range of dildo sizes, others can only be used with specific ones. Read and understand the product information before buying.
  • There are harnesses with a bullet vibrator attachment, specially designed to deliver vibrations against the clitoris.
  • If you have a penis and are looking for a harness, choose one with two cock rings: one to hold your penis; another to hold the dildo.
  • If you prefer the underwear-style harness, make it a point to take careful measurements of your thighs and waist to ensure you’re getting the right size.

Dildo Buying Tips

Dildos come in a range of sizes, shapes, materials, and colours. You can choose quirky and playful ones or go for those that look realistic.

When it comes to strap-on dildos, your choice depends on a couple of factors, including what kind of activity you want to indulge in and your harness. Here are a few tips to help you pick the right strap-on-dildo.

  • Choose nonporous materials like silicone, stainless steel, glass and ABS plastic, especially if the dildo is going to be used in anal play. This is because the anus contains a lot of bacteria that can get trapped inside a porous toy, making it unfit for use in and around the genitals.
  • A silicone dildo is best for first-time strap-on sex because it’s typically lighter and easier to handle than glass or stainless steel. It also has more give so will be more comfortable for the receiving partner.
  • Avoid materials like thermoplastic rubber (TPR), thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), and polyvinyl chloride (PVC). If you purchase a porous dildo, you need to use a condom with it every time and clean it well after every use.
  • A good rule is to choose a strap-on-dildo that’s almost as wide as how many fingers you can insert into your partner’s anus or vagina. If you haven’t tried manual stimulation yet, choose a dildo no more than three fingers wide. You should also consider the diameter of your harness's hole or O-ring.
  • Choose a dildo at least 5-inch long if you’re planning to use your strap-on for vaginal insertion and at least 6-inches long if you prefer anal play.

If you aren’t sure about the size and material of a dildo, try reading online product reviews or ask a salesperson if shopping at your local sex toy store.

NOTE:  Some harnesses come with interchangeable O-rings, which means they can be used with a range of thin or thick dildos. Others are limited to a single ring and thus aren’t as flexible or versatile.

Strap-on sex is fun and adventurous but requires patience. As a beginner, don’t expect to get everything right on the first attempt. Start slow and ask your partner about what does and doesn’t feel good. Communication is key when it comes to any kind of sex, and strap-on play is no exception. Try on different harness styles and dildos, and keep experimenting until you both get the hang of it. Lastly, don’t forget to use loads of lube!

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