Sex for Older Couples – The Secret to Pleasure, Health and Everything in Between

When it comes to their twilight years, some senior people love visiting exotic locations. Others prefer pursuing their long-lost hobbies. Then there are those who spend their golden years reliving their sexual fantasies, sometimes even outside their marital relationship.

Meet Jessica and Simon, two such senior swingers who believe that age is just a number. Both are divorced and in their late-fifties. While Jessica has an estranged son from her previous relationship, Simon is a free-spirit and has no children. They live together in an apartment, where they enjoy cooking meals, watching new movies and taking their dogs for walk. They also love visiting night clubs and organizing swingers’ parties. To them, casual sex is a fun activity just like any other.

At any age, sex isn’t just a source of pleasure. It also provides a host of other health benefits like improved cardiovascular health, stress relief and reduced chances of prostate cancer. The truth is, sex can become more exciting and thrilling with age, but there might be some health complications. In the words of Dr. Laura Berman, a famous relationship therapist and sex educator, “Your age should never limit you when it comes to enjoying your sexuality and your fantasies.” “However, the truth is that getting older can sometimes cause changes in our bodies and our sexual response, changes which can complicate our ability to enjoy sex.”

What could possibly affect your libido and sex life after 50?

For an aged woman, her diminished estrogen levels post menopause can result in vaginal dryness, causing pain and discomfort during sex. It also plays havoc on her mood and emotions. For most post-menopausal women, declining testosterone levels means a weaker sex drive. Likewise, in aged men, a sharp dip in male testosterone causes decreased libido. Unlike young men, they may need prolonged physical stimulation to become sexually aroused. Erections may also not be as firm or last as long as it used to. Luckily, there are ways to overcome these physical factors and enjoy sex to the fullest.

How to Maintain a Great Sex Life at 50 and Beyond

Lube it up

Older couples typically face three sexual challenges – arousal, erection and lubrication. In your 50’s, the sight of a naked shapely body may no longer excite you like it used to. As men grow older, their genitals become less sensitive to erotic stimulation. Arousal is still possible; it just takes longer than usual. For this reason, they need more caressing from their partners. Similarly, as mentioned above, for most menopausal women, vaginal dryness is a common problem. Luckily, there are lubricants available that replicate natural genital lubrication and can help you and your partner with sexual exploration. Aside from relieving vaginal dryness, lubricants can also intensify genital erotic sensitivity.

Safe sex positions

Sex has no age barriers, but sexual positions might! As you age, some sexual positions may no longer be as comfortable. You’ll need to discover which positions you can both try safely. You don’t want to hurt your knees when engaging in any challenging sexual act after all. Here are a few safe sex positions, exclusively for seniors.

Spooning position

The man cuddles up to the woman’s back and penetrates her from behind. She can either press hard against his cock or lift a leg for angled penetration. This is position is similar to the traditional ‘doggy style’, but without any exertion on your body.

Chair position

The man sits down in a comfortable position and the woman sits down on his lap, either facing him or with her back to him. The sex chair must be low enough for both the partners to place their feet on the floor and the knees slightly up to the thighs. This provides a stable position for penetration, while being really gentle on your back.

Back position

Both partners lay on their backs and the woman places one leg over the man’s body, while gently picking an angle that allows entry. You may also try some sex furniture to get the best angle and maximum pleasure out of your sexcapades.

Give toys a chance

Sex at 50 is not about recreating the experience you had when you were in your 20’s. Rather, it’s about finding out what works best for you at this stage. Instead of going straight for penetration, try stimulating each other with vibrators and couples’ massagers first. Apart from stimulating a woman externally, many vibrators can also be worn internally during intercourse for a shared experience. Men can also try cock rings to enjoy rock-hard erections that last throughout the session. These rings are worn around the base of penis (and sometimes even around the balls) and restrict blood flow for a fuller-looking erection.

Liberate your mind

When attempting sex at 50 and beyond, it’s very important to have a positive mindset. Don’t brood on how things are different today compared to your greener days. Liberate your mind from doubt and welcome life’s pleasures. Know that you’re older, wiser and sexier than before. At the same time, recognize your limitations and accept things that you can’t change. Remember, you own your age, capacity and mindset, they don’t own you. Happy living!