It was the end of 2018, and I had just broken up with my boyfriend. I was 18 and it was my first relationship. With him, I had experienced a lot of physical intimacy for the first time. But almost every time we had sex, I would get self-conscious about my body. Also, I always felt that I couldn’t reach the potential of my pleasure during intercourse. I couldn’t say all this to my boyfriend, and eventually, we broke up.
One thing kept bothering me: had I overestimated what sex was? Was I expecting too much from my boyfriend? The thing is, I had experienced a completely different feeling than what I had read about or seen regarding sex. Was I doing something wrong?
But soon after, while analyzing my past relationship, I thought about more deeply exploring my own pleasure needs. I asked what my body wanted. That’s where I started to explore my own path to sexual pleasure, hoping to gain self-confidence along the way.
Google Was My Saviour
“How to masturbate” was the first thing I Googled. I had never masturbated before and was a little apprehensive about it. Even researching it made me feel weird. But I was determined to have a healthy relationship with my sexuality. I learned some new terms about sex toys and adult sex stores. I also noticed that there were other women with similar issues and concerns regarding sexual health. And then I realized that it’s nothing to be ashamed about; in fact, my questions about my body were perfectly normal!
Eventually, I searched for ‘sex toys in Toronto’ and got myself a vibrator. Spoiler alert: it was the best purchase ever, and today I have my own toy drawer! Indeed, masturbation is a totally healthy choice.
My Body Is My Temple
I realized this truth a little late, but once I better understood my needs, there was no looking back. My toys assisted me in learning how to listen to my body. Before my second ‘date’ with my ICONIC rabbit vibrator, I didn’t know masturbation could be so amazing! I was never well-aware of my body, so never knew what I was looking for. Your genitals might not come with an instruction manual when it comes to masturbation, but, thankfully, sex toys do! So, I would suggest everyone reading this find a store selling sex toys in and around Toronto (like Cupid Boutique!) and place an order right away.
Setting the Scene Is Important
I always think now that if I’d had the time or resources to do it before, I would have experienced better pleasure earlier. Soon after receiving my package with my first vibrator, I booked some alone time. And date nights get more special with the right ambience, right?
I lit some scented candles, dimmed the lights, turned on some calming music, and got into bed with my vibrator and a bottle of my favourite water-based lube. I am a curvy girl and maybe because of that, I was never very body-positive before. I struggled with body insecurities throughout my teens, so getting naked was never my favourite thing. But with my vibrator, everything felt different. It didn’t judge me and made me feel sexy even if I wasn’t the skinniest. Ultimately, it wasn’t important.
Today, I make sure to schedule at least one solo play date with myself every week. I always make sure to set the right ambience to enjoy myself in the best way possible with my favourite toy.
Now, I Have My Own Community
Initially, I didn’t find it appropriate to talk about my experiences with my friends, so my journey to self-exploration and confidence was a little lonely at first. But when I started talking about intimacy with them, I soon realized that we could all strongly relate to each other's views on sexuality. We shared our moments of pleasure and failed orgasms with partners. I soon got more relaxed about my choices and decisions regarding my body.
Soon, we started asking each other questions like where can we buy sex toys in Toronto? The questions and issues proved universal. Later, I formed an online community with like-minded women. In no time, I developed a safe space for myself and others, where our thoughts and feelings weren’t being judged.
My Road to Attain Self-Confidence
It was just three years ago that my sexual fantasies and experiences didn’t match. So, I gave it all my attention, learnt as much as I could, listened to my body, and here I am today: satisfied and happy with my sexual health.
I am also in a relationship, but that doesn’t stop me from experimenting with sex toys. In fact, these toys have improved my love life with my current partner. Today, I can explore my sexuality comfortably because I know what is right for my body. Masturbation has made me fall in love with my body exactly the way it is. And I am also proud of the connection between my body and me.